Sunday, January 17th 2010

Told me you would stick by my side for this year, you told me you would hold on.
Only a few nights ago you told me that we both don't want to be in a relationship that is always make up break up, but apparently, it's "our" relationship.
Just today i called you after i finished work to see how your day was and what you did. I could tell by your voice that something was up, to receive what i expected to hear one stage from you "i don't want to be in a relationship that is always make up break up, that you want to be with somebody who will understand you and not bring up the things in the past to the present".
I should have known. Why, for all those times, did i TRY to tell myself you're not like that.
I fooled myself into thinking i actually made the right decision to be with you.
You wanted me to spoil you one day? Spend my money on you? Baby, your birthday's coming up. I wanted to do something for you. I was there for your 19th, i wanted to be there for your 20th.
Maybe you're lying to me, telling me there's not another person. If you've lied to me before, you would sure lie to me again.

What happened at camp.
I avoided him as much as possible. Didn't want to tell you what happened, because i knew you were going to break up with me. I was too afraid to lose something that wasn't even there! LOL hahh, fuck me dead.
And after being filled with so much regret, telling you i want you to give me another chance? What am i kidding. You told me today something you should have told me earlier. Liar. You told me nothing happened at Luu's. I asked you if anything happened. You know, after meeting you, i thought you were ACTUALLY different. LOL why do i always meet the biggest dicks for? Geez Lisa.

Well 2010 ;) Here we are for a new startttttttttt, without cha.

Keep telling yourself you're a "nice guy". We can see through you despite that very non-appealing mien that i always called attractive.
You know for yourself, to get respect you've got to give respect. Calling some girl who you hardly knew, your best friend other than me - is not respect. How about you face reality a little and come out from your own little world created by you, and involves only you.
I know i've never met with your high expectations as a girlfriend. I know you wanted me to do more. I know you wanted me to spend cash on you. Tell you i love you already. See you everyday "i want someone who can hold me" you said to me today. Well, thanks for trying to cover it up for all those times you told me it'll be alright if we don't see each other often.
You're not a very good liar Elvis.

1:41am.
I fucking miss you so fucking much fuck.
The fuck Lisa. You're crying like a little baby. Grow up.
:(